The Lens:
Last night, we went to see Marty Stuart and His Fabulous Superlatives at the Uptown Theater in Napa. My husband happened to check Marty’s website last week and saw he was in town.
Marty was supposed to play in San Francisco which would have been far more convenient for us. But, the show was cancelled, we assume due to the lack of ticket sales. Blame the pandemic.
Still, it made us get out of town which wasn’t a bad thing. We had dinner, went to the show and were home sort of by bedtime. Can’t complain.
Marty can be a storyteller. He told a story as a lead-in to the Willie Nelson song, “Me and Paul,” he was about to do. His story was about Willie’s sense of humor and a bit convoluted. I think I liked the convoluting aspect of the story because my stories can get a bit convoluted, too. I get to the point, though it can come in a very roundabout way.
The story went . . . he, along with Merle Haggard, Dwight Yoakam, Willie Neslon, and Dolly Parton, were selected to do a tribute to Roger Miller at his induction ceremony into the Country Music Hall of Flame. He says the four guys are there to rehearse when Dolly comes into the room.
Marty says, if you have never been with Dolly in person, when she enters the room rainbows emerge, butterflies come out. He says, “She is a special person.” Now, this is a story about Willie Nelson, but the lead up to the punchline is that, once she leaves, Merle starts in with how people look at the wrong parts of her, then goes on to extol her intelligence.
Dwight goes next, followed by Marty, all expounding on her intelligence and business acumen. Then, they come to Willie . . .
If you want to hear the rest of the story, you will have to go to a Marty Stuart concert.
The Refraction:
That little story made me reflect on Dolly.
Dolly Parton is a multi-faceted diamond*. Sure, she sparkles, she shines. Yet, she is as complicated as any sophisticated diamond pattern. The intricate facets make for her brilliance.
I don’t know Dolly Parton, nor have I ever seen her in person, so I give the same caveat in my “How Do I Love Thee” post. What I know of Dolly is through interviews, appearances on TV shows, her acting . . . and through the story by Marty Stuart.
I have been a fan of Marty’s for quite some time. He seems like the real deal – authentic. Again, this comes from interviews, etc. But, also from the many times I have seen him in concert as well as the number of testimonials from other artists.
I tend to believe what he says, even with the caveat that I don’t know him. (I feel like I do. But, really, I don’t.) He has known Dolly a long, long time. To hear him say she is special lends credibility to that assertion.
Without knowing too much about her, you could figure out she is a phenomenal musician. But, you have to dig deeper to realize all that she is.
In an interview with Dan Rather, she talks about many experiences that illustrate her intelligence and business savvy. In one story, she tells that Elvis Presley was supposed to record her song “I Will Always Love You.” The night before Elvis was to go into the studio, Col. Tom Parker, Elvis’ manager, calls Dolly and tells her that Elvis only records what he has the rights to (a shrewd tactic in his part). He wants Dolly to give up the rights to the song.
She tells him no. She was crushed. But, she wasn’t going to give up what was hers. This one story alone tells of a confident, smart, strong woman with incredible business sense.
But, the lesser telling is of her kind, gentle spirit. You have to hear more than the words in this story. You need to hear her tone, to see her body language. She relays this incident with no malice – just another episode in the journey of this hugely successful song. She does not convey bitterness or anger, though no one would have been blamed her if she had she been. What she expresses is a hurt, a sorrow.
Gauging Dolly’s authenticity is also difficult. She looks phony, as she will unabashedly admit. She has been asked about her over-the-top look on many occasions. “The whole magic about me is that I look artificial but I’m totally real.”
I believe her.
In the last year or so, Dolly’s financial generosity has come center stage. She is being hailed for her contributions to creating a COVID vaccine. Before this, I had heard little about her philanthropic ventures, which are many.
It is funny what we pick up on. We doubt her authenticity, maybe because of her outward appearance. Maybe because we can’t believe anyone can be so kind. Maybe because one chord has to be struck before we can hear. Was that chord her COVID donation?
Dolly’s contributions to the COVID vaccine aren’t what make her special. There are many people out there who make significant monetary gits. We create a whole tax system to spur this “generosity.”
Money should be one of the easiest things most of us can give. The more you have, the easier it should be.
There was an article in the Dallas Morning News probably about 15 years ago (so old, I can’t easily find it) by Steve Blow. He talks about a woman who was behind another woman at the grocery store. The woman in front did not have enough cash to pay for her purchase. The woman featured in the article gave her her last $10. She wasn’t sure how she would get by without that money but she gave it anyway.
Giving that $10 had to be far harder for her to give than for Dolly (with a net worth of $350 million per Forbes) to give $1 million to COVID vaccine research.
The thing about Dolly is I believe she’d give of whatever she has no matter what. She has money, so that is part of what she gives. If she didn’t have money, she would still probably give her last $10 if someone needed it. To miss that point, misses the essence of who she is.
But, as Americans, we worship money. We can quantify it. So, we place high esteem on those who give it away. In reality, it is much harder to give of our time, especially when we have little or none of it. It is much harder to give our patience when we are frazzled to bone. It is much harder to give our attention when our mind would rather be elsewhere.
Philanthropy is wonderful, but is not the only kind of giving we should strive for.
We have an angel walking among us. It took money to make us see and appreciate that. That’s a sad commentary on what we value.
So now stop. Think of Dolly Parton. What comes to mind?
Are you still thinking about her physical attributes Merle was referring to? Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman.**
*I just went back to view “The Marty Stuart Show” episode featuring Dolly. I knew they mentioned something about how long they have known each other. I didn’t get any more than it’s been a long time. But, he mentions Dolly is like a multi-facted diamond. I wrote this before I rewatched this episode.
** See my “I Didn’t Always Look Like This” post.