The Lens:
Today is Memorial Day. Both of my parents are buried at the San Francisco National Cemetery-Presidio of San Francisco. An odd thing to say, but Dad happened to die at an opportune time.
He died fairly young, actually – aged 59. It was sudden, a massive heart attack. While I wouldn’t want to die that young, I would hope to go quick like he did. But, what does any of this have to do with dying at an opportune time?
Dad was an army veteran. He served in Korea, Army PFC. The San Francisco National Cemetery-Presidio of San Francisco had filled up quite some time before. So, even if you were a veteran, you couldn’t be buried there. At the time he died, the cemetery had just opened up several areas to cremation burials. So, Dad was lucky to get one of those plots.
Not only is it quite an honor to be buried there, it is truly a beautiful spot. The cemetery sits on a rolling hill overlooking over the San Francisco Bay and Golden Gate Bridge.
As I have mentioned in at least one previous post (Patience), Mom was a navy veteran. As such, she could have been buried there in her own right, not as “wife,” as you see on so many women’s headstones. I am not sure, though, if there was space left in the Presidio by the time Mom died. It didn’t matter. Because of Dad’s both timely and untimely death, she was buried with him in his plot.
I started attending the Memorial Day service at the cemetery many, many years ago with my mom. I have tried to keep up the tradition since she died. I don’t always go for the ceremony. But, I try to go sometime that weekend.
The Boy Scouts place flags on all of the graves. It is quite a touching sight. I bring flowers, both for my parents and for my uncle who is also buried there. In the last few years, I have started bringing extra flowers and place them on the graves of others.
Sometimes I pick random graves or other times look for graves of Medal of Honor recipients, those who were killed in battle (the reason for Memorial Day), or women who served, children, etc. It is my attempt at remembering – remembering those who served, the sacrifices they made, their families.
The Refraction:
As I was reflecting during this year’s visit, it was hard not to think about what these people gave for others, the sacrifices they made. Some going so far as to make the ultimate sacrifice.
Then, I think about this last year and what we were asked to do. Pales in comparison and, yet, we fought it all the way.
My husband pointed out how WWII brought the country together. Everyone wanted to pitch in. I had asked Mom one time why she enlisted. She said she wanted to do her part like everyone else. No such camaraderie today.
It makes me so incredibly sad. I honestly don’t understand it. Yes, we are an individualistic society. Still, we do not live in isolation. Yet, we have become so self-absorbed that we disregard we all have the same right to live. Sacrifice is key to co-existence.
In talking with someone at the cemetery, I was asked why I go. I said to remember the service and sacrifice of others, and how it seemed especially poignant this year. He asked if I felt we could come together. I was actually a bit shocked by my answer. It just came out. Without hesitation, I said, “Yes. I am the optimist.”