The Lens:

A short read today.

I’m on a roll with my Christmas movies. Last night we watched our must-see Christmas movie: White Christmas. It was a long-time tradition in my family growing up, and has continued with my own family. Christmas would not be Christmas without “White Christmas.”

It is a best friends, sisters, war comraderie, love story movie all wrapped up in a spectacular comedic musical. On my “like” meter, this one is without a doubt a ten. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye have a rapport on screen that is rare. They are completely natural together, making their relationship entirely believable.

There may be some flaws to this movie but none that matter to me. My mom always thought the General was a sorry character. Some say the story is weak. The banter between Bing and Danny, and the fabulous music make any flaw immaterial to me.

I am usually quite upbeat. This has been such a downer of a year that even I have struggled over these last several months with a few depressive episodes. Last night, I went to bed feeling happy and light, something I haven’t felt in a long time.

Isn’t that what Christmas should be about – feeling light and happy? On top of feeling good, it made me hopeful for the better future that is bound to come. I know there is a lot to feel unhappy about. Still, I hope you can find your moment (or more) of carefree Christmas joy. Look for it if you have to. It is likely lurking somewhere.

The Refraction:

I said there were no flaws to this movie and I stick by that. I will say, though, that there is a part in the movie where there is a misunderstanding between Bob and Betty (Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney). This is all part of the plot. But, it mirrors what happens all too often in real life.

There is a breakdown in communication between Betty and Bob. Emma (the front desk person) eavesdrops on a portion of a phone conversation of Bob’s. She misinterprets the purpose of the call because she misses part of what was said.

She relays what she (incorrectly) heard to Betty who is flabbergasted. “You have to be wrong. Bob wouldn’t be involved in a thing like that,” she pushes back. But Emma convinces her.

Instead of simply asking Bob outright if what she heard is true, she is angry and distant. She and Bob fight, and Betty ends up leaving town.

Has that happened to you? Not the leaving town part, but the part where someone misinterpreted what you said or meant? That person is upset or angry with you, and you have no idea why. This happens too frequently with me and my husband, especially considering how long we have been married.

We have started to actively work on this. When one of us does or says something to which the other takes exception, rather than letting it fester, we try to talk about it right away. It has been rather shocking the number of times we read each other wrong.

In the case of Betty and Bob, had Betty trusted her instinct that Bob wouldn’t be involved in that kind of scheme, and simply asked him about it, there would have been no drama, no confusion, no hurt, no leaving town.

Of course, there wouldn’t have been a movie either: no misunderstanding, no movie.

Of all the things 2020 has been, I think the worst has been the inability to communicate. Granted, I am talking about a different kind of communication here – where we have a difference of opinion. Still, it is all about communication, about respectfully talking to each other, listening to each other, hearing what the other has to say. If we still disagree at that point, so be it. We won’t always agree. But, if we are gong to disagree, at least we should know what our disagreement is.