The Lens:
When you think things just can’t get any worse or weirder, they do. Let’s see, first we are struck by a pandemic. Then, civil unrest brought on by another racially based tragedy. Then, an election in an unequivocally polarized nation. And now, the President has contracted COViD 19 and is hospitalized. Through all of this, there is one constant. Everything has been made political. Everything.
For far too many people in our country, what you believe comes down to: are you red or blue. Facts are irrelevant. Facts be damned. I recently read a post on FB (a wealth of information – I say that both sarcastically and honestly [want to know people, read their FB posts]) that mirrored so many others these days. A statement was made by an R/B (red/blue person). He/she was asked to provide the source for the questionable information posted. The post devolved from there. But no source was ever provided. Bluster and deflect, instead of answering the question at hand is the new means of communication.
In this polarized nation, I think that is the most distressing level we have come to – the inability to communicate. We refuse to hear the other side. We have dug our heels in so deep that we cannot, will not, consider that we may be wrong. I am not saying we have to admit everything we think is wrong. Right now, we can’t even look at small issues, like wearing a mask, and discuss it rationally. We are either right or wrong. There is no discussion, no compromise. Think about Richard Carlson’s, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff . . . And It’s all Small Stuff.” Is wearing a mask, whether you are for or against, really an issue that should be tearing this country apart?
It is really hard to write this neutrally. I have my own opinions that start bubbling to the surface. As I write, I try to tamp them down, but then they get stronger and stronger. I have had to go back and rewrite and delete in my attempt to prevent presenting an argument for being red or blue. My point here is about communication.
Still, how many people will read this and immediately try to decide which side of the fence I am on. And, then discount what I say because I am on the opposite side. This is how low our ability to communicate has sunk.
Neutrality almost seems impossible. Another distressing trend. But, I digress.
I mentioned above the idea of that too many people see facts as irrelevant. I think the role facts play in communication is huge. Facts gives a starting point to agree on and an avenue for discussion from there. Without a starting point of agreement, we have no road to take for consensus. If we can’t agree as fact that the sun comes up in the east, then we can’t agree on what is west, north and south. But, if we accept and agree that the sum comes up in the east, we can begin the discussion of where is west, north and south.
The Refraction:
I think a lot about my mom these days. Mom was an incredible woman who lived an incredible life. This will likely not be the last refraction she is a part of. In times like this, of stress and turmoil, I miss her extraordinary wisdom brought about by her vast life experiences.
She lived through the Great Depression and World War II. She served stateside in the Navy as the Nazis attempted to take over the world, and Pearl Harbor was bombed. Mom also lived through the Korean and Vietnam Conflicts, the Women’s Liberation Movement, the Civil Rights Movement that brought the passage of the Civil Rights Act, the assassination of a president of the United States, and the attack on America on 9/11.
Toward the end of Mom’s life, I started to talk to her about her life. I asked her once why she chose to enlist during WWII. She said she wanted to do her part like everyone else. We didn’t get too far in our conversations before she died. I hadn’t ever thought to ask for her thoughts on all of the other events she witnessed in her life.
And, with the events of this last year, I realize another missed opportunity – I never thought to ask her how different it was, as a country, to fight an enemy abroad, versus fighting an enemy within. I never really thought about it all – unifying to fight a common enemy versus dividing to fight ourselves. Mom saw both.
Here we are today, dividing to fight ourselves. I wish I had mom to talk to. I wish I could get her perspective on all of this. It wouldn’t change anything but it might provide something so sorely missing today – comfort, reassurance, hope. I would love to hear her say something along the lines of “this too shall pass.” It would mean something coming from her.
I made a case for our smallness in my “A Summer Storm” post. This follows in the same vein. Currently, we are all so deeply immersed in these multiple crises, it is hard to understand that this is just one more in the very long history of human conflict. It is hard to put into perspective the severity of the moment when you are in the midst of it. Think of the mood of the country at the height of the Civil Rights Movement. In this latest division, we should understand that this is a continuation of the work we have to do to form a more perfect union. And, unfortunately, change never comes easy. Don’t give up or give in. Don’t fall into bitterness or hate. As hard as it may be, don’t give up on communication. This too shall pass.