I am small. I know partly because I have been told that countless times throughout my life. I used to wear clothes pretty well. For the most part, that is still true. The challenge as I have gotten older has been trying to find age-appropriate clothing that I could wear well.
I was well into my 30’s and still shopping in the Junior section. I would pick through all the clothes to find the most conservative. Eventually, that simply didn’t work anymore. There was nothing conservative enough for a woman of, let’s say, my station in life.
It was about this time when the phrase “just because you can doesn’t mean you should” became salient. I knew I was not a junior. I was middle-aged. I was at the point where none of these clothes said “middle-aged,” not even close. Just because that cute little frilly crop top fit my body didn’t mean it was something I would look good in. More likely, I’d look ridiculous.
I never wanted to look like someone who was trying to look younger by dressing in clothing designed for women 20 or 30 years my junior. The irony of that is the opposite is accomplished. You end up looking older not younger – like an old lady trying too hard to look young.
Oddly, what made me think of all this was an article in the New York Times I read, “Insults, Expletives and Fat-Shaming: Vance Trolls Critics on the Right and Left,” regarding the lack of decorum and restraint of our Vice President. Most notable, the article quotes JD Vance as saying of someone he was displeased with, “If you’ve ever met him in person, it’s quite obvious the man has never missed a burrito.”
A couple of other insults noted that were hurled by Vance included “idiots” and “scumbags.” Vance was quoted as telling NBC News, “I tend to err on the side of openness. That’s probably a generational thing, right? I come from a very tech-forward generation.”
Strangely, I am not sure what is worse, that the Vice President of the United States somehow thinks all of this is ok, that for a person in his position this in an acceptable example to set for the nation, or the numerous people who accept and justify this abhorrent behavior (though it explains a lot). If you can think it is fine for the Vice President of the United States to disparage others in such a personal way, what would stop you from doing the same. No wonder our country is such a hateful place right now.
Still there are always reasons for what we think and do, even if they are misdirected or flawed. Per the article, his cheerleaders’ rationale is that “By engaging with critics, however disparagingly . . . he is demonstrating the sort of accessibility and authenticity Americans are craving, at least Americans of a particular stripe. He has himself been the target of plenty of ugly attacks and should be free to push back. Those who see his tone as uncouth, they say, are the same pompous elites who have similarly tut-tutted Mr. Trump for more than a decade.”
Presidents and Vice Presidents (and public officer holders in general) have always been the subject of negative comments, sometimes crude, cruel or threatening. And none, as noted in the article, in the last 50 years have responded with such disparaging, personal attacks.
Aside from being extremely infantile to attack one’s person rather than the issue, it is a deflective approach in arguments, one that is designed, not to solve the issue, but to move the focus from the matter-at-hand to the individual. There is a name for this: ad hominem.
People might use ad hominem attacks when they don’t have facts to back up their argument, they don’t have a logical argument to put forth, or they want to belittle or make the other person mad.
I guess it is hard to take Vance to task over this when you compare him to his boss.
Not.
Yes, his boss is quite a master of ad hominem (think “Quiet, Piggy”). Yet, that does not absolve anyone of their own obligation to act morally and in line with the position they hold.
We all know as a US citizen we have the right to say just about whatever we want. What too many don’t get is that just because we can doesn’t mean we should. Just because Vance can legally degrade others, doesn’t mean he should, especially considering the position of power he holds.
Who knows why Vance chooses to disparage others. But if he thinks it make him look smart and clever, it doesn’t. Just like a middle-aged woman trying to wear a frilly crop top designed for a 22-year-old, with ad hominem, you get the opposite effect: instead of looking strong and intelligent, one looks petty and small.
And, just as we need to fault Vance for his choice of words, we need to hold accountable those who support and make excuses for it. We all have a sense of right and wrong. What we choose is up to us and us alone.